¿Quelle

¿Tod?
Todsünde. Todsinn. Wahnsinn. Wannsinn.
Wann?
As I approach to the idiom, the language, the tongue. Lèvres.
Idioma.
I do not have the images, the photos, just the memory. Encore une graphie. The way I write.
What do I want to approach? Commence par le ‘¿’, dans ta langue (maternelle).
Almost. Casi.
Çaci.
Totstunde. L’heure. A toute. ¿
Lo que quieres preguntar. Dans la différance des langues.
As I approach the image, the memory, the dead tongues.
Wenn¿

As I remember I narrate the man in the train kneeling laying praying dying probably vomiting what he did not eat what I did not give him what he needed as the people turned again from him me in the train I did too and I wanted to tell this story and I feel I cannot I am reminded of Prudent the man that stabbed Beckett about whom he said he was pretty nice perhaps not pretty but close enough to the man in the train in the S-Bahn as I went back to my Berliner Heimat a big room overlooking Leibnizstrasse whom I should read more not only not only because but since it is my job since I started and from there I can I feel understand better the man in the train as I turned away from him and imagined that perhaps he was going to die there as I wanted to tell the story his story not really just to pass the time to make time pass as when I was reading l’innommable on the airplane as I arrived to Mexikostadt Mexico City el defe from where I had left months ago when I was thinner but also more squalid not as Samuel not as your best friend but certainly a little livid a little sick an image related to what you write and to the man in/on the train you wish you could tell this story but you do not know from where to where to begin to end perhaps it is not the hour and you just want to pass time telling about the possibility of narrating as you discover that you are not a narrator only an idea-man an ideal-man that is non-existent inexistent just a ghost just a word just an image of a man in a train as I remember I narrate.

Getötet, versuche ich erzählen, die Zahlen, nicht wichtig, nur eins. Nun.
Essaie en français la langue paternelle quoique ton père ne le ne peut rien parler. Pas du tout des tous qui veulent en parler, philosoquement en fait. De quoi. ¿

Getötet, mach was ist eigene. Question of the proper, what you own what owns you how you get away if you want to get away from ‘it’. To be free, Eleuthéria, from the self, that is—simple question. Pourquoi changer de langue donc? Peut-être parce qu’ainsi puisqu’ainsi on peut. Ecrire rien.

Between James and Samuel, Lucia. Licht nicht.
Ichen, ich iche du ichst er icht. Ichte ich. Verstören verstorben zerstören. Plain verbs. Just a possibility, within languages. Iche dich. To father to show: Zeugen. Trying to say to pass to transcribe translate. A man on the train, a million men on the train—you have no image, what do you see here?
Zwischen, Jacques.

Just a possibility, a final possibility. Origins. You know the question, you hear the questions: Todtnauberg. Todberge. (You have the image of you, little baby, on your father’s tummy—nicht deine Mutter, warum? Peur du foyer.)

Aux faits, neben dich: deux dictionnaires, zwei Wörterbücher, « Schibboleth », « l’innommable », « Genèses, généalogies, genres et le génie », « états d’âme de la psychanalyse », « chaque foix unique la fin du monde », « der Kontrabass », « el contrabajo », « Eleuthéria », deine Kamera. Juste comme au commencement, la fin, bien sûr—cliché, photographié. Ce qui reste. Restance. L’homme dans la train.

(„SINGBARER REST - der Umriss / dessen, der durch / die Sichelschrift lautlos hindurchbrach, / abseits, am Schneeort.“
P. Celan.)

Aux faits, à ta droite: photographies, ta arrière-grand-mère, ton oncle, ta sœur, sa famille, ta grand-mère et sa mère, la mère de tes sœurs et de ton frère, ton frère, ton oncle, ton père, toi, ton père et ses frères. Plus loin, Samuel. Mais déjà il y a les livres. Catalogue.

Ses yeux, ces yeux. Ce n’est pas poésie. Au moins pas la poésie. Ecrire pour survivre pendant qu’on meurt on écrit on dit d’où vient cette voix une demande une prière un désir. Comment sais-toi le genre des mots ? Hymen. Le sentiment, la sensation qu’un jour tu ne pourras pas, ne pourras plus supporter subir les phrases les sentences seulement des mots déchirés sans lien sans support seulement les vers qui déchirent qui marquent le poème pas. Nicht wahr ? Wahnsinn.

En tu propia lengua, mientras tienes que pensar las letras, la cantidad y la separación, escansión—ya cometiste un error. Nada fatal.

Von wo denkst du? Heimat. Eins. Not the only one, as you discovered already the impossibility of making only one. Jaillis la fumée. Jaillissez! Ce que tu essaies de dire.
Cantable se mantiene. Moderato.

To think that. Too strong now. The dream of a language (tongue) that would be the softest, almost saying nothing, almost touching. Presque sexuelle, presque là, touchant. Comme le sentiment. Ce que tu resens quand tu vois. Trop tard. Tod.

Tu viens de trouver une araignée. Quelle image. You try to make the link, the trace that unites the terms images that resound in your heart : taking pictures of crosses, great lakes, a little object in front of a giant one, several books piled together, a body, eyes, a dog running, your own hands, smoke, statues, sentences, black on white, yourself, elle, trainwindows, long hair hers, unfamiliar words, rain, drainage, water, a man throwing a rock to the water, mirrors, your hand her hair the words everything reflected, light, a pen and a notebook. You’d mention what you don’t like to photograph. Nichts, nicht (es ist) wahr.

Más cierto en tu lengua¿. Algo te impide escribir con ella. No hablar. Podrías hacer la conexión con los últimos eventos. Demasiado simple. Madres. Ja, du bist ein mexikaner.

Wo bist du? Konzentrationslager. Focus.

“somebody needs you... and everything moves slow”

Verantwortung. Antworten. Wem, darauf? To respond. Se rendre responsable. Why do you write? Why do you? "The devil is you". Simple answer: in you, on you. How yet to make me, to transform me, or rather, to assume this, shoulders? Se rendre conscient. No escape. I am a dialectical man-thus I owe and I am own. By what. Geschichte. Historia. Tell me one.

To escape. La fuite. How to understand this? In a room, I escaped in my room. The flight is productive (Deleuze), or can be. How? Fuire, de quoi? For once focus on the picture, watch (keep garde) of the ring, there is a reason why it attracted you, why you had to take it-or why you were taken by it. Inimaginable. Use your imagination-that's where the crime starts, and perhaps where you can start to ask-without answers. Then, try not to understand-observe: pray. Contemplation & responsibility.

How to differenciate the windows? You know there is a delay. Différer. Aber du kannste das schon, vor viel Zeit. Focus. From which window do you see? What do you see?

She.

The sea.

Die Menschen.

die See, ein See.

Sí.

You need your eyes, her eyes.

What do you want to construct? Bilder. As risky as they are, but never in a flight. Tu as toujours rêvé voler. Combien de temps?
Pregúntale a tu consciencia. Was? Das Gewissen. There, you cannot lie. Bilder. Verantworten. Versprechen (sich). Between images and words, there you(r) rest(s).
Con algunos punteros. Anillos. From where you hold, you are being hold. Dein Schicksal.

Something happened to this image. Unconscious, but there. Not a election. That can never be.
Rest, focus. Wachen. Du bist eine Wache. You asked yourself what was your job, your matter. Tomb.
For that, you gotta remain conscious. "Keep talking".